Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
