I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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