Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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