I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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