I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize