Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
