and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
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