I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
He told me they were just razor bumps!
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
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She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
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Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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