super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
We had to coat check the pizza.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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