Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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