I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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