It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
