Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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