i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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