I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
