Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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