He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize