Im at strip club and am horny
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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