so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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