Having a random hookup so left but love u
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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