Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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