Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I intend to get homeless drunk
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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