i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
