We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
