Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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