Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Your penis caused this!
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
