I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
