Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
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You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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