I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
