She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
My balls are so social today.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
