My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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