I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
