i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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