If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
