Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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