i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize