one might say we're banned from that church
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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