also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
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