ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
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