You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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