I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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