does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i came on her dog
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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