Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
