If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
