Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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