why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
