sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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