Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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