i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Every concussion has its silver lining
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
