I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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