the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Randomize
