I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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