dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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