you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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