He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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