so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
