So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I'm really busy with my period
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